Skip to content

Just south of lowbrow.

My bit of self importance & narcissism bestowed upon the internet one post at a time.

It has come to my attention that you truly hate me. I just want you to know the feeling is mutual. You have never brought any positivity to my life, except for when you look pretty and I am inside with the furnace cranking at 80 degrees. And yeah, sure, sometimes I like being outside, tumbling head over feet with a pair of skis attached to me, but even then, you laugh and toy with me. Sure, I like living somewhere where I enjoy all the seasons, but you know what, I also like skipping certain unnamed seasons too. Anything you can do, Summer can do better.

You know how much I abhor getting into my car and holding a cold steering wheel? A lot. Its number one on my “Pet Peeve List: Winter Edition” and I have quite a few pet peeves in that volume. And after my hands have become a tongue on a frozen pole to the steering wheel, I certainly *sarcasm* enjoy trying to maneuver my 4 cylinder sled through the snow drifts that your buddies, the asshole Snowblowers, create. You know what? We can compromise, I will stop verbalizing my hatred for you, if you could just tell those jerk offs to point the tube on their snowblower on their lawn. That’s all. Just point the tube so the snow goes back on the lawn!!!! How hard is that?

This guy is a jerk in more ways than one!

This guy is a jerk in more ways than one!

Do they not realise that they make it extremely difficult to drive on roads, even after the snowplow has plowed the road? I don’t get it.

Also, Macomb County Road Commission. Now, I know the “great” State of Michigan is hurting for money, but do you think its possible that your snow blow drivers could do a little bit better than half-assed when it comes to plowing? Do we really need snowbanks in the middle of a street, that doesn’t have a center island. Do we really need 6 inch high mounds snuggling the lanes? I am anticipating the day all of these ruts and mounds freeze and I have already slid into and damaged the innards of my car already. Plus, my tires are not so fresh anymore and I really don’t think Tom is going to want to drive to wherever I am stranded (most likely on the side of the freeway, in Detroit, because that seems to be my stranded area of choice. Oh, and at night.) and change a flat.

Lastly, jerk off drivers who act like they have never driven in inclement road conditions, especially, post-storm, post-plowing. Listen, I realise that there are patchy spots on the road still, but an average of 8 miles per hour? Is that necessary? And then when I try to pass you, speeding up?

I hate you GM and your damned SUVs!!! *shakes fist*

I hate you GM and your damned SUVs!!! *shakes fist*

Sidebar: to the lady driving the late model white Honda Accord on 696 west yesterday when I was on my way to school to pick up my books; You totally deserved to have me “gentle nudge” you “over” into the far right lane. I had my turn signal on for nearly 2 miles and you refused to stop pacing me.

In closing, Winter, if you and your jerky friends could just holiday in Florida, that would be great.




If you could unfreeze either my dad’s, my aunt’s or my cousin’s pipes so I can shower, that would be great!

Tags: , , ,

%d bloggers like this: