Skip to content

Just south of lowbrow.

My bit of self importance & narcissism bestowed upon the internet one post at a time.

As a follow-up to a former colleague’s popular ” French are asked to smile” post, I thought I would clarify things for everyone as to why the French (namely Parisians) are notoriously dickish and universally hated.

(Note: None of these can be confirmed nor denied. )

1. France is still pissed off because they have been irrelevant since 1940.

france

2. They are upset about always eating raw food.  Steak Tartarè, anyone?

2b) They are all hungry.

3. They all have giant migraines from the intermingling scent of 11 million whore baths and stale cigarettes.
4. They have never gotten over that “Let them eat cake” thing.

mariecake

5. Constantly stepping in or around dog feces would make even the Dalai Lama or Jimmy Carter irritable.

dogpoop
6. Because the store Parisian sucks, and it’s attached to their name.
7. They’re sick of fries being called “French Fries” when they were invented in Belgium, a notoriously nice country.
8. The ménage a trois was a bad idea. (A married couple and a lover living in perfect harmony? My ass.)
9. Peugeots are pieces of shit. True Story.
10. They’re upset because they’re known as England’s wine and tobacco shop.
11. Corsets.
12. Their military less intimidating than the Canadians’ (and still grumpy about the Brits and Americans having to save their asses in WWII).
13. The French moustache.

frenchmoustache
14. Mimes.
15. Because an American owns the Tour de France.

There you have it, 15 reasons to help you better understand why the French are so bitter. Give them a break, it’s not like they can defend themselves.

Advertisements

Tags: , ,

%d bloggers like this: