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Just south of lowbrow.

My bit of self importance & narcissism bestowed upon the internet one post at a time.

Category Archives: Life

10 Things I Hate and You Should Too, Edition

No. 8, You're cordially invited to a brick party

1. 3 o’clock in the morning: I’m usually up at this time and 3 o’clock is the world’s way of telling me I’m a degenerate. How you ask? Because that’s when any semblance of decent programming goes off the air and I’m stuck with infomercials about male enhancement pills and the Aerogarden.

2. The voice black comedians use when making fun of white people: Seriously, we don’t all talk like we wear Lacoste and play tennis, nor do we talk like our mothers breastfed us too long, cut it out. Thanks!

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It has come to my attention that you truly hate me. I just want you to know the feeling is mutual. You have never brought any positivity to my life, except for when you look pretty and I am inside with the furnace cranking at 80 degrees. And yeah, sure, sometimes I like being outside, tumbling head over feet with a pair of skis attached to me, but even then, you laugh and toy with me. Sure, I like living somewhere where I enjoy all the seasons, but you know what, I also like skipping certain unnamed seasons too. Anything you can do, Summer can do better.

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